A LETTER TO ZACHERY
Aug 14, 2021
Zachery,
Lifestyle is an individual acceptance of how a person believes they should think, speak and act. The personal expression of self, an action of definition that cannot be judge as right or wrong…just unique. I have witnessed an unsustainable longterm living arrangement between my household and your family. This was a very emotionally draining and volatile, yet a wonderfully illuminating event. The event was not judging one lifestyle as wrong or right, but displaying the unique expressions that can emerge from the same family origin. I have also witnessed how people will project their lifestyle upon other individuals and consider it common. For example, statements like, “That isn’t what I would do, everyone does it this way or that’s just common sense”. This projection upon others is presumptuous, arrogant and limiting. For the Truth comes from within and not from without. I found that I projected and judged more than once along our experience. Unfortunately,“statement placement” is a common mistake, the fuel and tool for Ego. What truly matters…to remember that everyone is a spiritual being having a human experience. People are as individual as the stars in the sky. So, in our dialogue you asked , “ What do I need to change?”. My response, “There is nothing wrong with you. Therefore, there is nothing to change”. Unfortunately, we clearly have very different perceptions and nuances that are not sustainable for long periods of time. I don’t want you to change for me, I want you to be you. I have personally found that anything coerced will eventually find opposition. However, if your perception of how you wish to define yourself changes, then you will embrace change. This will not be because of me, but because of you. Anything less is fleeting.
This is a perfect segue for a personal example I would like to share. There was a point late in my life, where my path led me to a job as a laborer in a construction company. I had never used a shovel so much in my entire life as I did those three and a half months. I was miserable, but eventually realized there was a purpose, the Universe had a plan, a special penance just for me. At this new job, I was just a number and discovered that being me was having an adverse effect on the other workers. My current peers wanted me to change, to blend in, to conform to the perceived normality of their lifestyle. I had many discussions and threats that did not avail the situation nor command the desired change. This was a powerful lesson on knowing and loving yourself. If I was going to break, this was the perfect elixir of hopelessness and coercion. I was in the pit of “dog eat dog” with little profit from a twelve hour day in the hot sun. Fortunately, one day my Soul said, “Enough!” The quintessential Spirit inside of me became more and more resilient the harder they push. It was like I reached a point of resolve to know this event was mine and mine alone. It wasn’t done to me, but for me. I was in the moment and I was going to be “Me” no matter what the cost. Anything less was failure. I was determined to shake the trees and rattle the cages…so I did. I became a sponge, I was going to learn and understand everything about every position. If I didn’t understand, I would asked until I was given the answer. It didn’t matter who was irritated or what options they conveyed, I needed to redefine myself in this place. It didn’t take long for upper management to take notice of the motivated, question asking individual that appeared to understand what needed to be done without being told. Effort was all I had and effort was everything I gave. One day on my way home, I was offered an assistant surveyors position, that took me from a pit digging slave to office dwelling independent. The magical change happened as quickly as a blink of an eye. One event, one lesson, be true to yourself and your path will be true to you -nosce te ipsum.
One last thing, in our discussion, I could see the contortion in your face as your Ego incited whispers of confusion. No words would have moved me from my mark, my Ego was in check. You are angry at your harvest and that is no ones fault but your own. A person is not defined by who they are, but by what they do…your thoughts, words and deeds are the seeds you sow along your path. Don’t let emotional baggage get the best of you. It is a narrow view of the larger picture. So grow and learn with your family, just like I have done with mine. Expand your awareness not just for yourself, but for those who would follow in your footsteps. Show them the world is full of joy and wonder by defining who you are and not what you believe others want you to be.
In the ripples of life, it is important to love and respect yourself, to offer that courtesy to others. I am not saying that you need to embrace or agree with other peoples lifestyles. Rather, accept that they are expressing themselves at their level of understanding. This is no more than what you should ask from someone else…Acceptance, Love and Forgiveness. This is exactly what I extended to you during our discussion, my acceptance of our differences.
Remember, the events along your path are created for you, not to you. You are the moment as long as you truly embrace yourself.
